Intermarriage, Divorce, and the "Great Jewish-American Wealth Transfer"

The deluge of divorce and intermarriage sweeping across the Jewish-American landscape has and will continue to impact the Jewish-American community in unforeseen ways.

No, I am not referring solely to the loss of half of our children to marriages where Jewish values, culture, and history are not passed on. Nor do I refer merely to the drop in numbers of Jewish children born due to the accelerating epidemic of single life propagated by the likes of Huffingtonpost.com. Instead I am referring to the transfer of wealth from the hands of hard working and entrepreneurial Americans who identify themselves as Jews, to the hands of others who do not.

The real consequences of this trend are already being felt. In a recent survey of the most philanthropic in America, Jews, unsurprisingly, held five of the top six spots, and there were 19 Jews amongst the top 53
(http://www.jewishjournal.org/story/news_features/survey_finds_jews_are_top_givers_in_the_u.s/). Yet most of their charity was directed at non-Jewish causes. This is, in itself, not a bad thing. After all, Jews have always contributed to larger society and such contributions are considered central to Torah-true living. On the other hand, the upkeep of Jewish institutions is a prerequisite to maintaining Jewish tradition and heritage. Day schools, hospitals, museums, houses of prayer, political action , kosher food, mikvahs (ritual baths), soup kitchens, medical assistance etc. are all expensive enterprises that have historically been considered the collective responsibility of every Jew, each according to their means (Jews are required to give 10 percent of their earning to charity, on top of taxes).

There is a long standing Jewish tradition of philanthropy. The 19th and early 20th century Rothschilds have been replaced by the 21st century Lev Levaivs. The biblical tabernacle built in the dessert, the two temples of Jerusalem, and almost every single past and present Jewish institution was funded by Jews who stepped up to the plate and continued the historic use of Jewish wealth to benefit the global Jewish community.

Until now.

For the first time since the era of Ezra and Nechemya (the end of Babylonian/Persian exile) assimilation and divorce has become the norm in the Jewish diaspora. This new norm has in-turn impacted the entire Jewish community in unforeseen ways.

Jews are disproportionally wealthy and, in most cases, happily shoulder the burden of corollary taxation. However, public schools, fast food, and churches do not assist the Jewish community in passing on 3000 year old traditions. Many Jews pay for public schools but send their children to private schools; Jews don’t eat cheap fast food, but pay close to double for (often equally unhealthy) kosher food. Jews close their businesses on the busiest consumer day of the week. Despite all the above challenges the Jewish community has committed itself -for over 2000 years with little complaint and out of love and devotion- to propagating Jewish tradition.

Every intermarriage that ends in divorce or results in offspring who eschew Jewish tradition engenders an unquantifiable, and often undesired, transfer of wealth from Jewish hands. The ramifications are felt across the nation and globe, and have been further compounded by the general economic malaise. Many Jews turned their back on their secular coreligionists, but that was wrong both from a humanitarian perspective and from a Jewish-legal viewpoint (Rabbi Hillel said “love your neighbor like yourself, this is the great law of the Torah”), and now the tangible economic implications are clear. Jews continue to be leading philanthropists, but many Jews are unable to educate and pass on their traditions. Many Jews eat only Kosher, so they don’t buy meat which they can’t afford. Many houses of prayer and study-halls (Beit Knesset, Beit medrash) want to provide a relaxing and comfortable milieu for prayer and study but they close their doors do to the lack of funds.

Where is all that famous Jewish wealth? Just look at the wonderful New York Philharmonic and billion dollar endowments of Harvard and Yale.

Yes this is a free and integrated country, yes all have a fundamental right to choose their own destiny, and yes Jews are not required by secular law to provide for their brothers and sisters. But the Jewish community should at least be made aware of the implications of the continued failure to educate and pass on our millennia old tradition to the next generation. Our failure translates into the continued transfer of Jewish wealth into the hands of others -from Jewish synagogues and schools to libraries and universities. This is not just about losing a generation of "other" Jewish children, this is about our own children!

Divorce is Good?!

HuffingtonPost.com, the self proclaimed left wing response to drudgereport.com and co.,(http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1110/45168.html) recently launched its newest addition to string of highly specialized categories, divorce. Its founder, Ariana Huffington, claimed that she was prompted by the statistic that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. It's an astute idea. After all divorce is part of the fabric of our society and America needs a forum for the growing discussion.

Yet I was taken aback by the direction in which many of the contributors on her site were going. One op-ed "Divorce! It’s good for the children!" by http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-smiley/divorce-its-good-for-the-_b_782469.html Jane Smiley, argues that divorce can be good.

But is it?

Ok, I understand that many in our society attempt to go with the flow. When they recognize a societal trend they respond with non-judgmental acceptance, i.e. instead of attributing meaning to a given development they just recognize it and report on it. I appreciate the importance of presenting objective-oriented information.

However, I perceive more than just aloof coverage, by contributors to Huffingtonpost.com, of a news-worthy story. Instead, it seems that many who gravitate to this media platform are attempting to justify the trend. Instead of offering an unadulterated statistic to their audience these writers are attempting to reshape an historically negative event (even when justified), divorce, into a positive activity.

The arguments are boring, but non-the-less should be considered.

1. we live in a post-marriage society
2.marriage works for some and not for others.
3. marriage vis-a-vis same sex couples and singles is exclusionary.

I can accept that religious grounded argument for marriage (such as the refrain that "love is a part of marriage, not marriage") often have a minimal impact in the secular public sphere and are already discounted as antiquated and/or myth. Never mind that religious communities of all types are also experiencing relative increases in divorce rates. I can even see why many proponents of divorce discount the anecdotal evidence as to the ravages of broken, uh I mean separated families. I live in Crown Heights, where gang affiliation is often directly attributed to absentee parents. Just as my classmates, of divorced parents, in my hometown of suburban CT. seemed, perhaps mistakenly, to have their own genre of problems (who doesn't right!?).
Still I'm sure many divorced parents and their children are neither gang-bangers or in therapy.

Fine, I can understand all these perspectives.

Furthermore, we may never know whether rampant divorce is a symptom of a larger cultural problem, or just another seminal development in an increasingly changing society.
But at the same time it may be cause for serious concern even for those who feel that our capitalistic mindset requires a materialistic reason to gain our attention.

So I ask: Do the implications of increasing divorce rates have a direct impact on our economic welfare?

What if it is not a mere coincidence that the 1960's liberal revolution and the increasing divorce that came with it, was also the decade when real income reached its peak and has since declined? What if having an economically stable home to turn to (yes two adults living in one location are more likely to accumulate resources to share with others) in times of distress and need, helps strengthen the fabric of our national psyche and, by virtue of that, our productivity? What if your divorce precludes your children from marrying, which negatively impacts the economic environment that we ALL live in? Do the inherent responsibilities of a successful marriage inculcate its members, especially its children, with a sense of monetary responsibility, credit cards and all?

If huffingtonPost.com is going to publish articles justifying societies divorce from marriage than, for the sake of the greater good, it should also explore the ramifications of a society without marriage.