Intermarriage, Divorce, and the "Great Jewish-American Wealth Transfer"

The deluge of divorce and intermarriage sweeping across the Jewish-American landscape has and will continue to impact the Jewish-American community in unforeseen ways.

No, I am not referring solely to the loss of half of our children to marriages where Jewish values, culture, and history are not passed on. Nor do I refer merely to the drop in numbers of Jewish children born due to the accelerating epidemic of single life propagated by the likes of Huffingtonpost.com. Instead I am referring to the transfer of wealth from the hands of hard working and entrepreneurial Americans who identify themselves as Jews, to the hands of others who do not.

The real consequences of this trend are already being felt. In a recent survey of the most philanthropic in America, Jews, unsurprisingly, held five of the top six spots, and there were 19 Jews amongst the top 53
(http://www.jewishjournal.org/story/news_features/survey_finds_jews_are_top_givers_in_the_u.s/). Yet most of their charity was directed at non-Jewish causes. This is, in itself, not a bad thing. After all, Jews have always contributed to larger society and such contributions are considered central to Torah-true living. On the other hand, the upkeep of Jewish institutions is a prerequisite to maintaining Jewish tradition and heritage. Day schools, hospitals, museums, houses of prayer, political action , kosher food, mikvahs (ritual baths), soup kitchens, medical assistance etc. are all expensive enterprises that have historically been considered the collective responsibility of every Jew, each according to their means (Jews are required to give 10 percent of their earning to charity, on top of taxes).

There is a long standing Jewish tradition of philanthropy. The 19th and early 20th century Rothschilds have been replaced by the 21st century Lev Levaivs. The biblical tabernacle built in the dessert, the two temples of Jerusalem, and almost every single past and present Jewish institution was funded by Jews who stepped up to the plate and continued the historic use of Jewish wealth to benefit the global Jewish community.

Until now.

For the first time since the era of Ezra and Nechemya (the end of Babylonian/Persian exile) assimilation and divorce has become the norm in the Jewish diaspora. This new norm has in-turn impacted the entire Jewish community in unforeseen ways.

Jews are disproportionally wealthy and, in most cases, happily shoulder the burden of corollary taxation. However, public schools, fast food, and churches do not assist the Jewish community in passing on 3000 year old traditions. Many Jews pay for public schools but send their children to private schools; Jews don’t eat cheap fast food, but pay close to double for (often equally unhealthy) kosher food. Jews close their businesses on the busiest consumer day of the week. Despite all the above challenges the Jewish community has committed itself -for over 2000 years with little complaint and out of love and devotion- to propagating Jewish tradition.

Every intermarriage that ends in divorce or results in offspring who eschew Jewish tradition engenders an unquantifiable, and often undesired, transfer of wealth from Jewish hands. The ramifications are felt across the nation and globe, and have been further compounded by the general economic malaise. Many Jews turned their back on their secular coreligionists, but that was wrong both from a humanitarian perspective and from a Jewish-legal viewpoint (Rabbi Hillel said “love your neighbor like yourself, this is the great law of the Torah”), and now the tangible economic implications are clear. Jews continue to be leading philanthropists, but many Jews are unable to educate and pass on their traditions. Many Jews eat only Kosher, so they don’t buy meat which they can’t afford. Many houses of prayer and study-halls (Beit Knesset, Beit medrash) want to provide a relaxing and comfortable milieu for prayer and study but they close their doors do to the lack of funds.

Where is all that famous Jewish wealth? Just look at the wonderful New York Philharmonic and billion dollar endowments of Harvard and Yale.

Yes this is a free and integrated country, yes all have a fundamental right to choose their own destiny, and yes Jews are not required by secular law to provide for their brothers and sisters. But the Jewish community should at least be made aware of the implications of the continued failure to educate and pass on our millennia old tradition to the next generation. Our failure translates into the continued transfer of Jewish wealth into the hands of others -from Jewish synagogues and schools to libraries and universities. This is not just about losing a generation of "other" Jewish children, this is about our own children!

Clinton/Mesvinsky Wedding, The Reform Movement, and it's Open Season on Eligible Jews

This month’s marriage between Chelsea Clinton, heir to the moderate-Democrat Clinton dynasty, and investor tycoon (and son of a disgraced congressman) Marc Mesvinsky has a variety of implications. One observer lamented, what he termed, the “spiritual holocaust” that wide spread American intermarriage is causing and that this marriage represents. Indeed, for most of the 20th century intermarriage in the Jewish community was taboo, in the 21st century this is no longer the case. This marriage signals that the taboo of intermarriage has been “overcome” by the liberal Jewish community. How the Liberal-Jewish community overcame this taboo, can be viewed as a case study in social-psychology: how taboos are challenged and refuted. Or it can shed light on a major flaw in liberal-Jewish thinking.

Either way my observations.

In the 1960’s the Reform movement was beginning to experience a drop in membership. They responded by amplifying their belief in accepting and being open to all and actively sought and welcomed intermarried couples, who until then had, because of the aforementioned taboo experienced a sort of alienation, into their temples. Still while the reform movement accepted intermarried couples they also encouraged conversion, and drew the line by asking its member clergy to “avoid” presiding over interfaith marriages (though true to form many reform clergy disregarded this suggestion and routinely conducted interfaith weddings). The Reform movements primary objective was to foster a welcoming experience for any individual who wanted to convert and observe a selective Judaism, (something traditional Judaism objects to). But by simplifying the transition to Judaism for the non-Jewish spouse their policies had an unintended(?)effect it eroded the taboo against entering into interfaith relationships in the first place -after all conversion to Judaism was so “easy”.

Because of the outreach of the Reform the taboo against entering into interfaith relationships was eroded and many spouses didn’t feel the social pressure to convert. The ever liberal Reform movement not wanting to lose their new stream of paying members, began to encourage interfaith couples to raise their children in the Jewish faith. Why? Because the whole premise of accepting interfaith relationships was so that spouses would convert and halt assimilation, but now that spouses felt little taboo-pressure to convert, the movement had to still support their claim of halting intermarriage- the children should be raised Jewish. Never mind the confusion a child of two religions experiences, non-the-less it was at this stage that the Menorah, next to the Christmas tree emerged.

So the taboo against intermarriage devolved from only marrying a Jew, to only marrying a convert, to we will not conduct interfaith weddings, but you are keeping to the faith so long as you raise your children Jewish.

But there was still a remnant of the taboo: condoning interfaith marriage.

This particular marriage represents the predictable culmination of a 60 year Reform/liberal Judaism’s investment in expanding Jewish identity. While the Reform movement simplified conversion in expectation that many would convert, and in the long run halt assimilation.

The taboo of intermarriage was so undermined by a convenient-focused conversion process that now intermarriage itself is not only widespread (hovering around 50 percent) and accepted as normal, but also encouraged. As exemplified by Clinton/Mesvinsky marriage.

How did the Reform movement jump from easy conversion to outright intermarriage ? The answer is imbedded in the philosophy that underpins liberal Judaism. First the Reform espoused a cultural definition of Judaism, namely that Jewish is not a inherent designation, but a choice. Why? Because Judaism is first and foremost a religion of morality and not having a choice is immoral. This choice means that a person is not Jewish because of a soul (assuming a soul exists) but because they choose to be Jewish. So if we are to premise Judaism on choice, because choice is inherently moral, then it is immoral to advocate against the choice of intermarriage. This, by the way, explains why many Reform clergy never had a problem officiating at interfaith marriages as to not officiate is tantamount to inhibiting choice…

In other words the reform movement was eventually going to enable interfaith marriage, if they were to be consistent in their philosophy. It was only a matter of time before liberal/reform Judaism, transitioned from challenging the taboo of interfaith relationships, as long as there was conversion, to challenging the taboo of interfaith marriage without. Don’t be surprised if the Reform movement continues its slide from majority humanism mixed with a little cultural spirituality, to being indistinguishable from humanistic Judaism devoid of any conventional spiritual attachment.

The crumbling of a taboo and encouraged interfaith weddings culminated in a Jewish male with a kippa and tallit marrying the most eligible bachelorette in the nation: which probably means it’s open season on eligible Jews!